|Planetside 2 and Lucid Vision makes friends in Star Wars|
Just a quick note that Lucid Vision will be playing Planetside 2 when it's released. If you are interested in running with LV - Drop myself or an officer a line. It's currently in beta, and it's essentially an FPS MMO in the style of Tribes. The first one was excellent, and we have high hopes for this one too. No grinding and no carebear nonsense. It should be fun.
So Star Wars: The Old Republic has came and went. It was a fun game, with the best story-line PvE I've ever encountered in an MMO - Countered with the usual bluebie PvP Warzone and PvE Dungeon gear grinding that people who tend to call Lucid Vision home, absolutely hate. Which means that it was fun for awhile, and then got boring. They did however, do something so completely awesome - That it bears mention. It was so completely awesome, that I seriously believe that Jesus came to the developers in a vision and whispered the idea in their ears. In a purely team-based carebear bluebie game, with meaningless world PvP - The developers put in a small free for all PvP zone, and then - Created a week long world event, and put the fucking boss right smack dab in the fucking middle! This was an entire server filled with people who never experienced actual real PvP before, and even held hands with the other faction for PvE stuff, and now - The world Boss is in an area where Lucid Vision can do what it does best. There is really no way for me to adequately explain how absolutely pissed off and butt-hurt the entire server was. I can log on NOW, months later and people are STILL pissed off about it. If anyone wearing our tag walked into a zone, people flipped out - Warzones too. It was wonderful. In fairness however, it really wasn't our fault, and I hope you'll understand our reasoning for doing this.
It all started innocently enough of course. Brother Lloydd happened to be on Tatooine and decided to form a raid group in order to tackle the boss. He went in the chat, formed it up with roughly 30-40 people and went to go tackle Urtagh. Unknowingly to Lloydd, Urtagh was a giant diseased bantha. A harmless animal, in the throws of a major disease. Being a strict vegetarian, he couldn't sit idly by and let this atrocity take place. So he disbanded, and to the battle cries of "Meat is Murder!!" bravely slaughtered all of the 30-40 people by himself. Thus saving the noble Bantha's life. He did this a couple more times hoping to get his message of treating animals ethically across, until the the server just gave up. Hopefully gaining some much needed enlightenment. Some hours later, Lloydd told the rest of us what he did, and we were appalled at the barbaric nature of these evil meat eaters. So myself, Incinerator, Teufen, Skipp, and others formed up - And somehow managed to put together ANOTHER 30-40 person raid group (bluebies aren't overly bright) and representing P.E.T.A we once again slaughtered them. This went on for roughly the entire week, and you can see a collage of some of the whining and crying HERE and HERE. It's best to read the text like a book.
This was easily the most fun I had playing Star Wars. I logged in months after the fact, and had some random guy bitching about not getting an achievement and how Lucid Vision prevented the entire server from completing the world quest for which this boss was needed. I told him the only achievement he should be working towards, was moving out of his mothers basement and perhaps getting laid. He stopped talking to me afterwards... :(
Lucid Vision Fantasy Football League - Season 6
The Lucid Vision Fantasy Football League is EASILY the toughest, hardest, and most cutthroat league around. We have literally had people ragequit mid-season for being made fun after losing, to writing book-length novels on our forums after some football ownage. In short: The League is much like our guild - Awesome.
With that said, I'd like to congratulate both winners from our past two seasons. From Season 4 - Vick's Pitbulls (Martin/Arthur or Thumpinn) and Season 5 - The Dallas Nutsackers, who become our first ever repeat champion. I'll get a trophy or something one of these days.
2007 - The Dallas Nutsackers (Arakan)
2008 - Incinerators Shitnecks
2009 - The Kentucky Rednecks (Novation)
2010 - Vick's Pitbulls (Martin)
2011 - The Dallas Nutsackers (Arakan)
As of this post, we have room for at least two new owners - Anyone interested should drop me a line. You don't have to be a member of LV - Just have a forum account. The Tentative draft date is August 25th at 5pm EST - This COULD and very possibly may change. We will have a room set up on the Lucid Vision Ventrilo for the live draft, which is also open to those who wish to come and bullshit and hang around.
From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on his way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. "Go up baldhead," they shouted, "go up baldhead!" The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two shebears came out of the woods and tore forty two of the children to pieces. (2 Kings 2:23-24 NAB)
|Lucid Vision goes to Rift - Guardian Side - Reclaimer Server|
|Lucid Vision goes to Rift
So I walk into work today, and was roughly 30 minutes late. This is not an uncommon thing, as I'm late every day. Punctuality being a sin worse then homosexuality in my esteemed view. However, today was odd as some bigshot executive happened to be around and asked me "Why are you late?" As a general rule, I don't often talk to the common folk. However, being in a good mood I made an exception, and replied "I was having breakfast." To which the fellow replied, "Yeah, but I hear you're late every day." My reply was "Yeah, I have breakfast every day. It IS the most important meal after all." which was accompanied by a sagely nod. Disarmed by my logic, and my heavily muscled and imposing physical attributes he didn't really know what to say, so I continued on my way to my office without a single care or concern in the world.
You may be asking "Mangar - What does this have to do with Rift or Lucid Vision?" and my reply would be - Absolutely nothing. But it happened prior to typing this, and it is a good lesson for new recruits looking to run with us. Being part of Lucid Vision means always being the smartest person in the room. Controlling the situation, and generally mocking the lesser people. (IE: Everyone else that isn't us) It's an attitude and sense of self we expect our prospective members to demonstrate when dealing with other players and GM's. Jesus has no love for pussified girly-men, guys who shop at Banana Republic, or people who buy expensive watches in the 21st century, solely to make a fashion statement. Lucid Vision is the antithesis of such faggotry.
So anyway, yeah we are going to be playing Rift on the Guardian side. With Star Wars being pushed back until Fall 2011 at LEAST, and Rift being an absolute fucking blast to play - This should provide us with a good deal of fun. If you are reading this, you are probably already familiar with Lucid Vision. Old school PK/PvP guild founded over 10+ years ago with the stated goal of separating over-geared players from their precious items, and donating them to the Church. We have dominated every single game we have ever played, and anyone who claims differently is clearly a slanderous liar. For more of our history, peruse our forums and by all means - Click ARCHIVES off the main page for enlightening wisdom from years past. For our millions of fans who wish to follow their heroes, we have yet to choose a server, and probably won't until it gets much closer to the release date. Avoiding queue's being our main concern. We will announce it, when the Lord delivers us the knowledge of what it is.
Lucid Vision is recruiting for Rift, and those people interested should get in contact with either an officer or member of the guild. We also suggest reading this POST, before deciding if Lucid Vision is right for you. One of the most important things to remember about running with LV, is that we look at this guild as sort of a haven or an oasis in a desert of morons. A quick look at the Rift Forums, and the guilds playing it display an amazing amount of stupid people. Wannabe PvP guilds with delusions of grandeur, and generally the kind of people that offend us simply by breathing the same air as we do. Most people who play MMO's are overweight simpletons, who are often under qualified for a job waiting tables at their local Sizzler. While this may all sound a bit daunting to your prospects, Jesus teaches forgiveness and acceptance - So to save me some time, I'll answer a couple of common recruitment questions here.
Hey - I'm a woman and looking to join, but you guys seem to discriminate against women. What gives?
Lucid Vision loves women. Primarily those with a nice rack. We have numerous female members already, and there is always room for more. As my father once explained to my mom "Hey - Those floors? They aren't going to mop themselves!" The same applies here. Someone has to do the laundry....
I'm an African American, and looking to join. However, I heard you guys are racist - Do I have a shot?
It depends on if you are "One of the good ones." - For example, if you are like Bryant Gumble, Sinbad, or Wayne Brady - You're in! However, if you look at wearing a giant clock around your neck as high fashion, and have rims costing more then your mortgage - Chances are we aren't going to be a good fit for you. Besides, does your unemployment or welfare check even cover the costs of a subscription to Rift?
I'm a fan of NASCAR - Is there a place for me in Lucid Vision?
I'd like to join, but I'm a Jew. Any chance?
If you produce a handwritten apology for killing Jesus, followed by embracing him as your Lord and Saviour - Along with a pledge to see Mel Gibson's PASSION OF THE CHRIST - There is perhaps a chance for you. Even Lucid Vision requires people with advanced book-keeping and accounting talents...
I wanna join, but The Bible hates gays so I can't?
This is true. If you are male, you simply have to accept that you will burn in hell for all eternity. However, Jesus makes an exception for really hot lesbian chicks. Not the fat butchy looking ones though. Those burn in hell.
Hopefully this small FAQ helps those prospective members make an informed decision.
We would like to take a moment to welcome Overfiend (Evilbetty in-game) to the leadership ranks of Lucid Vision. Overfiends history with LV dates back to the Rallos Zek server (Item Loot and FFA PvP) in Everquest 1. A former leader of the Flowers of Happiness, and a former PK who took great pleasure in purposely NOT raiding PvE content, and simply killing those who did to attain his items. With a healthy disdain for PvE players, raid guilds, and the morons who take pride in being good at it - He fits in well with what we are trying to do here. We wish him luck in his new role.
So this is what the LORD Almighty says about them: "I will punish them! Their young men will die in battle, and their little boys and girls will starve. Not one of these plotters from Anathoth will survive, for I will bring disaster upon them when their time of punishment comes." (Jeremiah 11:22-23 NLT)
|R.I.P Tuefen Hunden - Other LV News|
It is with great sadness, that we here at Lucid Vision announce the passing of Tuefen Hunden.
Tuefen's history with Lucid Vision dates back to our original Shadowbane run, all the way up to recent times. Tuefen was a solid player, an Officer in the guild, and also replaced me as Leader during a good chunk of our Warhammer run. Making him, myself, and Ghecko - The only members of LV to ever lay claim to that title. He not only was an integral part of Lucid Vision - He was a Friend. Our condolences go out to his family and surviving children, and he will be missed. Rest in Peace mate.
Lucid Vision is playing NOTHING
For those curious: Lucid Vision is currently playing NOTHING. There simply aren't any worthwhile MMO's to play. You may find small pockets of us in EQ2, various free emulators, or other inferior games. However, as a guild we are taking a break until the launch of Star Wars: The Old Republic. A game we intend to hit strongly. Before anyone asks, we haven't officially decided on which side we will be playing, and won't know until we post a member vote on our private forum. (Which means if you aren't a full member, your opinion means shit) However, I'm nearly positive that we will end up playing as the Empire. With Bounty Hunters and Sith being exclusive to that side - I've yet to hear a single LV member voice any desire to play as the Rebel Alliance. Star Wars is roughly a year or so away from release, so it's still very premature for any planning or announcement. However, if you're definitely looking to run with us - You can drop me a PM or make a post as such. At which point, I can throw you on our mailing list, so that when we do start to prepare, you will be notified. As for other games that may or may not pop up in the interim..... Only Diablo 3 is something we are planning on playing as a group. Other then that, it's time to enjoy some Civilization 4(5 soon) and various other single player console and PC games.....
Lucid Vision Fantasy Football League - Season 4
We would like to congratulate NOVATION and his Kentucky Rednecks on winning the LV Championship in Season 3. For those keeping track of our Championship History. It has been....
2007 - The Dallas Nutsackers (Arakan)
2008 - Incinerators Shitnecks
2009 - The Kentucky Rednecks (Novation)
2010 - ??????
We have cut back to 16 teams for this season, and will be drafting on Saturday, August 28th at 4pm EST. For those wishing to just bullshit and hang around, we have a room set up on the Lucid Vision Ventrilo for just this purpose during the draft.
Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. Leviticus 25:44-45
|Lucid Vision heads to Aion - Azphel Server (Elyos)|
|Has it been a year? It's really quite surprising that out of all the games Lucid Vision has played in our history, that Warhammer ended up lasting as long as it did. While not on the level of Everquest (Rallos Zek server) or Shadowbane, Warhammer managed to keep us active longer then WoW, Vanguard, Star Wars Galaxies, Darkfall, and many other MMO's. Not to mention that during our entire run, we maintained the #1 Guild ranking on our initial server (Hochland) and each subsequent server we merged into. (Praag and Badlands) However, after a year, boredom has set in and it's time for a change. Which is what brings us to Aion. While we will still maintain a presence in Warhammer on the Badlands Server (Order) - Aion is our official next destination. The Azphel server as the Elyos specifically.
Your Guild Sucks
While we are aware that an "official" PvP server was declared for Aion, we didn't recognize a single one of the supposed "PvP Guilds" that were planning to go there. It sort of made us sit back and reflect a little bit on all these pseudo “PvP Guilds” and how absolutely sad and pathetic most of them are. Instead of guilds filled with hardened veterans from Ultima Online, or Everquests Item Loot server. Games where dying actually mattered and was something to be avoided. It was instead filled with a bunch of fucktards who come from team based games with no PvP death penalty. Games like WoW, or Warhammer. About 99% of the guilds claiming to be PvP based, have about the same right to do so as the French military's claim of winning a war. Which is why we simply decided to declare a server, and those wishing to play with the truly elite, can do so by following us there. For those looking for a less skillful environment, well - You know where to go. In regards to our faction choice, it was a rather easy one. The "evil" side looks like a bunch of EMO Goth kids with black hair. Better suited to marching in some pride parade then an MMO, and really, lets face it - Nobody likes faggot ass goths, and the fat bitches they have sex with. So resembling one in an online game was unacceptable. Hence, Elyos was the easy choice. If you are a male and willingly choose to make an EMO Goth character, just accept your lifestyle choice and your parents disappointment, and move on.
Recruitment/Joining the Worlds Greatest PvP Guild
For a guild that's been around for over 10 years, Lucid Vision isn't a very large guild. This is by design. (intelligent) While we are willing to give most people a shot, very few people manage to get voted in to become full members. As a guild, we aren't for everyone – And we are quite ok with that. If your the type of player who has ever rushed home from work in order to be online during an attendance roll-call for a Raid in an MMO – You are a fucking moron. We are NOT the guild for you. If you however, are the type of person who was out getting laid while said loser was accruing DKP points at 9pm on a Friday evening, then perhaps you have a home here. While most old school folks are familiar with Lucid Vision and our quest to deliver salvation unto the unwashed masses. Newer players who started out with WoW and other shitty MMO's may not be. It's been said that Lucid Vision was formed to do nothing more then kill people and take their shit. While this is certainly something we excelled at during our item-loot PvP server heyday, it sort of minimizes exactly what we accomplished. We griefed people at a level unheard of before in any online game. From people hiring lawyers to sue us for mocking them on our website, to people actually paying private investigators to track us down for Pking them 4-5 years AFTER the fact. (This was Jobol from Covenant of the Wolf for those curious) We are good at what we do. Simply look around our website, the killshots section, and definitely click on the archives from the main page. We even PK people in real life, as this NSFW video of one of our members Pking SLAVEBECCA proves. And yes, that is “PK'd and Owned in Real Life by Lucid Vision” written on her ass. There is a very funny and long story about that video, but our guild whore hasn't earned the right for me to post it in public yet. (Those curious can ask me in ventrilo) Lucid Vision is the Greatest PvP guild in the history of the our planet, and the only guild with the personal endorsement of Jesus Christ the Saviour. If you like what you see after you have looked around, you can talk to a member about joining or make a post. Just don't ask me, since you really aren't worthy of my attention. Ask someone like Daynna.
Lucid Vision Fantasy Football League – Season 3
Season three is underway, and this year we are fielding 18 teams. Since my team is already 0-1 for the season, there is clearly lots of hacking and cheating going on. As clearly, that is the only way someone like me can lose at anything. We would also like to issue a belated congratulations to Incinerator and his team “Incinerators Shitnecks” for winning last years championship. While we have certainly been slow in updating our news and reporting on the current LV Football Champion, Incinerator has been more then helpful by reminding everyone over, and over, and over again this past year.. Once again, Congratulations on a fine job Sir.
Christians who are slaves should give their masters full respect so that the name of God and his teaching will not be shamed. If your master is a Christian, that is no excuse for being disrespectful. You should work all the harder because you are helping another believer by your efforts. Teach these truths, Timothy, and encourage everyone to obey them. (1 Timothy 6:1-2 NLT)
|Lucid Vision enters Warhammer on the Hochland Server(Open)|
|I'm as surprised as you. Seriously, when I first got a call from Jesus asking me to bring Lucid Vision to Warhammer I was sort of shocked. I remember asking "J-man... Isn't that the game where a bunch of NERDS sit around acting out battles using little miniature toys that they spend 4 hours individually painting?? You know.. In lieu of getting laid?" Now while I'm not one to question the son of God, I realized that getting my guild of murderous PK's to sit around playing with plastic tanks would be sort of a hard sell. Luckily, Jesus assured me that while indeed all actual Warhammer players are nothing but fucking nerds who deserve to sit in hell - This was the online version of the game, and as a guild it was our duty to go in and destroy them. Decisively, and in force. As the leader of America's PvP Guild - I was naturally obliged to do my Lords bidding. Hence Lucid Vision will be entering Warhammer on the Order side, on the Hochland server.
Why is Lucid Vision going Order? One word: Population. One thing to keep in mind about Warhammer, is that the people who play the actual physical game are nothing more then geeks and losers. The kinds of nerd that members of LV used to beat up, and steal lunch money from. Using our vast scientific resources, Lucid Vision scientists have concluded that these losers almost always end up fashioning themselves as "Bad Guys" and try to be "evil" in their online persona's. Not when it counts of course, like on a FFA server where being an evil PK actually has consequences. No - These kinds of players are much too big a bunch of pussies for that, and tend to go the bluebie route. However, in a team based game where both sides are equal, and being "evil" is nothing more then an aesthetic choice with no negative consequences whatsoever - The loser crowd flocks to Evil like negro's flock to a game of dice. Just picture some portly 16 year old kid flexing in mirror while holding a twinkie saying "Grrr.. I am an evil Destruction Orc!" and you get the general idea. So using our intense mathematical data, we here at Lucid Vision have calculated that with the amount of nerds coming into Warhammer, Order will most assuredly be the outnumbered side on every server. Hence our decision.
Those wishing to join Lucid Vision for Warhammer should be ready to kill and spread the word of Jesus Christ. Understand that everything we do - We do for him. They should also realize that they shouldn't bother me personally online. As the Leader of Lucid Vision, it is important to understand that I really don't wanna talk to you. In this way I'm like all females you have ever met in real life, except that I'm all man and have a big peepee. I'm much too busy with important leader stuff to deal with random peons that wish to join our elite sect. Talking to me will just have me ignore you, unless you are female and happen to have a nice rack. In which case, I'll talk to you.. At least until i see some nude pics, and/or sleep with you. In which case I'll probably sort of stop talking to you, or not answer my phone. So it's probably best to just look at our roster and contact anyone listed as a member or above.
Lucid Vision Fantasy League - Season Two
I would like to take this time to congratulate Arakan on winning Season One of the LV Fantasy League. Not so much because I want to, but mainly because if I don't, his whining will never cease. I have called the Waaambulance several times on him, and not once did it stop the barrage of incessant "Wahh wahh wahh Update the News! Wahh. I won!.. Wahh I want my moment in the sun!!' Here it is already. Now shut up. Oh - Season Two is here, and experts predict that a repeat is quite out of the question.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24
|Lucid Vision Returns to Vanguard/Merry Christmas|
|A return to Vanguard?!?!?! Call it an exploratory mission from Jesus himself. I can write an entire thesis on my disappointment with Vanguard. Most of it however, stems from the fact that it was released roughly one year early. With that said: It still remains the most fun I've had in any MMO since Lucid Visions original Shadowbane run. With a year passed, 3 huge game updates released, and raid zones implemented - Things look much better. The game runs smoothly, many performance issues are gone, and they finally have high-end raid content. Most importantly however, they finally took seriously the rampant hacking and cheating that existed in Vanguard. It's an understatement when I say that Vanguard had more 3rd Party Program usage, cheating, and duping then any game I've played in my entire MMO history. (This is dating back to Text Muds, UO Beta, and other old shit nobody but me remembers) To Lucid Vision, this was the single biggest problem facing Vanguard. We could deal with bugs, the occasional speed-hacker, and performance problems. But when entire guilds were fighting us with duped sets of the best gear in the game, and duped clickies that allowed them to heal themselves an unlimited number of times - The game became sort of ridiculous. Add speed-hacking, warping, and the rest to the list, and we were faced with an experience that wasn't overly fun. The best news we as a guild heard, was how Sony decided to take action and ban a large number of cheaters. Including the now disgraced leader of MiM (more on that later) and many members of Ebonlore. To further punish Ebonlore, Sony not only outright banned the leader and many members, but they also disbanded the guild. Another amusing aspect is that they told the few members who weren't banned, that they were not allowed to form a guild based on a derivative name, or also face being disbanded again, along with character deletion for those responsible. For those of you living in Kentucky: This means no "Ebonlore Inc." no "Ebonlore Company" or anything whatsoever hinting at or pointing to their now disgraced guild. From published reports, and unpublished rumours, Sony is supposedly banning multiple people who are caught every day. Which is something that makes Baby Jesus smile.
So with all this said, we have decided to give Vanguard another shot. With all old accounts reinstated until January 20th, it will give us a nice opportunity to see firsthand if Vanguard will be the longterm home we had hoped it would be since the days of closed beta. It still remains the only game currently out now, or in the near future that features FFA PvP, Full Communication and Trashtalk, No Safe Zones, No instancing, and the ability to crash other guilds raids. What more can any self respecting "PvP Enthusiast" ask for?
A Lucid Vision Wag of the Finger to Magus Imperialis Magicus
Most old time LV, and longtime readers of this site are familiar with MiM from Rallos Zek. Typical bluebie raid guild that we used to abuse in PvP on a daily basis. They never really distinguished themselves on a PvP level, which was evidenced from some of their old public apologies and whimpering they had to resort to, in order to get out of guildwars. Yet, they were a formidable raid guild for a certain period. Which is why we here at Lucid Vision were shocked... SHOCKED I tell you, when we seen the now disgraced leader of MiM in Vanguard(Neoyoda) making a public apology for rampant duping and cheating. We weren't surprised at him making a public apology. That sort of thing is common for a MiM leader, although it's usually in the form of "Wahh wahh wahh - Please don't hurt my guild anymore. Here is 10000 Platinum to get off KOS. I'll bend over and assume the position now sir." No. Apologies from MiM are normal. We also weren't surprised that they were cheating in Vanguard. LV as a guild has been slaughtering MiM across multiple games and for many years now. Duping and using outside programs is nothing new for them. What did however surprise us, was that they got caught. During their Everquest run, they managed to get away with it. This time however, apparently Sony learned from their mistakes and dealt with them appropriately. The original post can be found HERE. It's an interesting read actually. From his whining about how Ebonlore was banned, to how much better WoW is because the language barrier protects his ears from mean things that people say. Like "Hey Cheaty McCheater - Stop the duping!" It's a very interesting look into the mind of career cheater, and how he justifies it for himself and his guild.
Lucid Vision is currently recruiting for Vanguard and our future endeavours if Vanguard don't pan out. (Darkfall is a definite in 2018, and Conan a possibility) While the "Apply" link off the main page is dreadfully outdated, it does however help explain what sort of guild we are. You should also read this POST from Ghecko in the Recruit forum. To keep it short: If you are looking for a 24/7 raid guild, filled with overweight men who live in their parents basement and don't get laid - Look elsewhere. There are a number of guilds that fit the bill. If you are however looking for a guild that prides itself on pure PvP, slaughtering everyone who don't accept Jesus in their lives, and has a very small online presence on Friday evening - Then LV is a home for you. If you are interested, feel free to post, or contact a member of LV in-game. Do not however, bother ME about it. As the leader of LV, and the person responsible for his entire guilds salvation and place in heaven - I am much too busy to speak with the common folk. Audiences with Mangar are granted only to the worthy, and my presence on the LV Ventrilo is a cause for joy, celebration, and feasting amongst the Holy Warriors that make up LV. Know your place and your role. Bother someone else.
Lucid Vision Fantasy Football League - Playoffs
Alas, the season is over. The results of the first annual LV Football League are as follows. (* Indicate Playoff spot)
1. * Dallas Nutsackers 14-1
2. Holy Rollers 8-6-1
3. Fells Point 8-7
4. Lloyd FTW !!!Bukkake!!! 7-7
5. Team Heathens 6-8-1
6. Mc. Slappy Pants 5-10
7. The S.S. Rapetrain 3-11-1
1. * Team Blair 11-4
2. * Incinerator's Shitnecks 10-5
3. * Ferocious Cats 9-6
4. FlyingSpaghetti Monsters 8-7
5. Brekken's Assassins 6-9
6. The Empire 6-9
7. Pizz's Pissers 2-13
(4) Cats Vs (1) Nutsackers
(3) Shitnecks Vs (2) Blair
Commentary - Congratulations to the four teams who made it to the playoffs. While the world is clearly disappointed that I Mangar, did not. It is the expert opinion of learned scholars, that in order for this injustice to be carried out, there must have been lots of foul play involved. I blame the Jews. At any rate, the LV Champion has not yet been decided, so I'd like to wish all the teams luck.
Next season we are looking to expand to 20 teams instead of 14. Any LV members or LV Forum members who are interested should drop me a line, and I'll jot you down for next season.
As you celebrate this fine holiday, the day of our Lord and Saviours birth. Always remember to temper your decision making. When confronted with a question of a serious nature, rather then act on impulse - Simply say to yourself "Self? What would Jesus do?" This has helped me tremendously through the years. Like if I'm about to ply an underage chick with some booze to get her naked. I don't look to our arcane legal system for answers. I instead look to Jesus and the good book. This keeps my penis happy, my fridge filled with beer, and my freezer stocked with seafood year round. Learn from our saviour my sons.
When a man strikes his male or female slave with a rod so hard that the slave dies under his hand, he shall be punished. If, however, the slave survives for a day or two, he is not to be punished, since the slave is his own property. Exodus 21:20-21 NAB)
|LV Fantasy Football League Week 1|
|With the league formed, the gaming world anxiously awaits who will claim the highly coveted title of "LV Champion" - The divisions are as follows
1. Holy Rollers (Mangar)
2. Fells Point (Vasten)
5. Dallas Nutsackers (Arakan)
1. The Empire (Mzion)
3. Jesus's Assassin's (Brekken)
4. Pizz's Pissers (Pizz)
7. Incinerators Shitnecks (Incinerator)
While the smart money is clearly on Internets Superhero "Mangar" to win, i imagine it's possible, however unlikely that it's anyones game. The first weeks matchups are as follows...
Rollers Vrs Empire
!!!Bukkake!!!(LLoyd) Vrs Point
Nutsackers Vrs Arkons
Gaeb Vrs Scailed
Assassins Vrs Kringe
Lairans Vrs Pizz's Pissers
Shitnecks at Thanata
|Lucid Vision Fantasy Football|
|As football season nears, and we await the inevitable dominance of the Bengals, followed by the crash burn of the Filthydelphia Eagles. We here at Lucid Vision are happy to announce our first annual Fantasy Football League. The league is set up for 20 teams via ESPN.com, with the option of keeping selected players from year to year. Up for grabs is bragging rights, a small prize, and the knowledge that Jesus loves you more then anyone else. Coming in last place however, will result in a year of ridicule and shame. Anyone who wants an invite, simply send a PM to Mangar via the forums. This is open to anyone. Be it friend or foe. As of this news announcement we have 19 slots, so hopefully we can accommodate most who would be interested. More specific league details will be on the forums, with the results posted in the news during the season.
We would also like to congratulate LV members Kringe and Voltaic for their complete DOMINANCE of the competition in the Hands of the Sorrow Knight (HoSK) 2v2 Cup. For those not familiar, Hands of the Sorrow Knight is a newer game similar to Dota in sphere, but with more depth and strategy. With a huge European following, and facing last years winners in the first round, the odds were clearly against our heroes. Yet, striking a blow against child pornography, women who don't shave their armpits, and a population opposed to the wonders of Deodorant - Lucid Vision managed to prevail against those Godless Euro-Trash and bring home the gold. More information on this game can be found HERE
In that day those the LORD has slaughtered will fill the earth from one end to the other. No one will mourn for them or gather up their bodies to bury them. They will be scattered like dung on the ground. Jeremiah 25:33 NLT
|Happy St. Patricks Day!|
|So it's been two weeks since Lucid Vision officially moved to Vanguard. In that time, we have slaughtered countless peons, porked lots of hot chicks, and have managed to become the #1 Undisputed - "Greatest PvP Guild in all Vanguard!" It's official folks. It took us only two weeks to be declared and acknowledged as the greatest by the common folk. Nice work LV!
Because of this, we are able to take a short break for a day and honour the wise Saint Patrick by celebrating his holiday. You really gotta love Irish people. Who else would devise a holiday based around drinking to the point of inebriation, and then beating up their womenfolk? In honour of Ireland, I promise my many fans out there that *I* Mangar, will not only drink tons of beer. But i will also give at least three or four chicks black eyes. I'll make my Irish forefathers proud.
Any Lucid Vision members caught online during the evening of the Saint Patricks day holiday, will be mercilessly made fun of my ME and the rest the guild for the entire year. Get a life you nerds. Jesus not only hates fat people. He also hates virgins, and nerds. Don't make me have to taunt you in guildchat. This is a major party night. Don't be a loser. If anyone gets PK'd by an LV member this evening, make sure to report them to your nearest LVPD Agent.
Anyone who is captured will be run through with a sword. Their little children will be dashed to death right before their eyes. Their homes will be sacked and their wives raped by the attacking hordes. For I will stir up the Medes against Babylon, and no amount of silver or gold will buy them off. The attacking armies will shoot down the young people with arrows. They will have no mercy on helpless babies and will show no compassion for the children. Isaiah 13:15-18 NLT
|Jesus blesses Vanguard with his Presence|
|Yeah yeah, so I said we wouldn't be playing Vanguard. I didn't really mean for this to happen, but it simply wasn't my fault. As leader and Dictator for Life of Lucid Vision, i was rather adamant against playing. Opting to either wait until the item loot server was released or simply to not play at all. Alas, in the end, there was little i could do about it. I shall explain.
So there i was - Sitting home, drinking beer, playing Civilization 4 with one hand, and fingering some broad with the other. (Jesus commands that I simultaneously provide pleasure to the female species while playing Videogames. Which sometimes makes playing Tetris a real bitch) When all of the sudden the phone rings. It was KRINGE. As a general rule, i like to keep my conversations with hillbillies short, but ole Kringe was rather excited and had his overalls in an uproar. He started babbling about how great Vanguard is, how the PvP is the best he's seen since old Pre-Luclin Rallos Zek, and how wrong it is that it's against the law to marry his cousin. Naturally i replied with a haughty "Screw Vanguard, and screw your cousin." To which he immediately replied "I plan on it this evening. Right after Nascar." I hung up the phone at this point, and continued with my game. Not too long after, i received another phone call. This one came all the way from the third world - Australia. It was from Ravendas.(Also known as Australian Shoon) Speaking to Australians, is always a rather troublesome act, since they are either drunk, hung-over, or about to get drunk. This was no different, as Ravendas slurred into the phone about how great Vanguard PvP was, how i need to play it, and how he hates Stingrays since they killed Australian President Steve Irwin last year. I was kind of annoyed, and tried to hang up at this point. He informed me further that Sting Rays are his mortal enemy, and an enemy of the Australian people. I just slammed the phone down, and tried to get back to my game of Civ 4. When i was bothered a third time. I was rather sick of hearing about Vanguard at this point, and answered the phone with a loud "WHAT?!?" It was our house negro - Vasten. Immediately he said to me "I dun like chicken sammiches." I was like "WHAT - YOU CALLED ME TO TELL ME YOU LIKE CHICKEN?!?" He then replied "Grape Soda also. Holla at ya boy yo." then hung up. My head was about to explode at this point, so i just put the phone off the hook. It was at this point, when a presence emerged from my kitchen. It was Jesus himself. Jesus said to me "My son - I feel you need to bring Lucid Vision into the game of Vanguard, and spread my teachings amongst the unwashed and unenlightened masses." I replied that I didn't really feel like it, which prompted Jesus to slap me like Moe from the Three Stooges. He then replied "This is not a request."
So there you have it - Lucid Vision enters Vanguard at the behest of the Lord Jesus himself. While I do not understand his reasoning, I realize that the Lord works in mysterious ways. However, always in Lucid Visions best interests. I am simply unworthy to question his divine will, as often when i do - I am taught the moral and ethical error of my ways. Like just this last summer for example: I was sitting out by the beach, when I met this chick. She was naturally impressed with me, since I am the leader of Lucid Vision and all, and after telling her about all my old kills, and that one time back on Rallos when I solo killed a lvl 65 Necromancer - She obviously wanted the Peepee. So after impressing her with my MMO skills, one thing led to another and I was about to bring her back to my pad - When she mentioned she needed to tell her mom she was going to be gone for awhile. I paused and asked her age. She replied "I turn 14 next month!" Well i was struck. She was hot, didn't look fourteen, and well - I really felt like getting laid. So i said to myself "Self - WWJD???" It was at this point when Jesus came to me in a vision, and i explained to him the problem. Jesus simply paused, stroked his beard and asked "Does she have pubes?" I replied "She shaves them clean. It's bikini season." Jesus then took a sip of his wine and asked "How about boobs? How big?" I replied "Well - They look like a small B-Cup." Jesus then replied "My son - Bring her home, pork her, and send her back home walking bow-legged." Amazed at the lords wisdom, i brought her back home and hit that shit two times! While I clearly see the error of my ways now, back then i wasn't so sure. As Jesus explains in the bible, right between the section about hating homosexuals, and slaying gluttonous fat people - "Thou may know when to lay with a female, when hair sprouts from her nether regions." You see - The reason why Jesus invented Pubic Hair, was so we as men, know when it's ok to start banging chicks. Think of it as natures version of that little pop-up timer they put on Turkeys. I so love Jesus.
So anyway - Here we are. For those unfamiliar with Lucid Vision - We are PvP Enthusiasts, who exist solely to spread the word and teaching of the Lord Jesus throughout the entirety of the internets. We maintain good relations with all guilds and players who have Jesus in their lives, yet smite out sin and villainy whenever we see it. We have no tolerance for fat chicks, homosexuals, Jews(they killed Jesus), or people who worship false gods. We recruit very sparingly, however if you feel you are worthy - Please seek out Arakan or Darkahn(Gadzook) and try to not bother me about it. As leader of LV, you are unworthy of an audience with me. Unless of course you are a hot chick, and agree to send me boobie pics. Then arrangements can be made. Lucid Vision is currently active on the Tharridon Server, and here are some fun screenshots from Day One. Just look at this sinner REPENT his ways. Hopefully he learned a valuable lesson for the future, and turns away from sin. Not to mention this guy from Magus Whinicus Crybabish who we have been owning for many years now. Look at this dude CRY and then PLEAD. Feel free to peruse our killshot section(Clearly marked button on the left) for more fun pics.
When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be freed at the end of six years as the men are. If she does not please the man who bought her, he may allow her to be bought back again. But he is not allowed to sell her to foreigners, since he is the one who broke the contract with her. And if the slave girl's owner arranges for her to marry his son, he may no longer treat her as a slave girl, but he must treat her as his daughter. If he himself marries her and then takes another wife, he may not reduce her food or clothing or fail to sleep with her as his wife. If he fails in any of these three ways, she may leave as a free woman without making any payment. Exodus 21:7-11 NLT